No News, goddamit.

Well I was back at the midwife yesterday and had a membrane sweep done. (don't read if you have any fear of child birth please.) I can now totally sympathise with those poor cows you see on Vetinary programmes with someone's arm stuck up inside them.

So after an afternoon of cramps , I had my hopes of going last night. I'm 'fraid not - seems the Antichrist is holding on in there, despite my midwife's gorrilla handed attempts to shake him/her out.

My Mum told me yesterday, that I was a MONTH late - my due date was the 8/11 and my birthday is 6/12! Jeez. The good news is that in this day and age they don't let you go that long, so my midwife will phone the hospital on Friday AM for an inducing date between Mon - Wed next week , so the end is now in sight.

I am REALLY fed up now and going shopping this afternoon - I am refusing to be housebound anymore! Fingers crossed my waters break when I am in M&S!!

On a more annoying note, I have managed to do something to my mobile phone account online so can't reply to the umpteen texts that people are sending to see how I am and b*starding Vodaphone Customer Service is doing my head in with what seems to be their fundamental employment criteria of staff must have a single figure number of brain cells..

I now remember why I left them before.

For Miss F..

Don't do it..

X Factor

Having not much to do these days but wait and lower my IQ level with daytime TV, I have become a voyeur of odd programmes that I never new existed and watching repeats of things I don't usually have time to see.

X Factor is one of these. Now I don't know why I keep watching, because they seem to be rolling out he sob stories to disguise the fact that the talent is wearing thin this year and I am meaning with the judges. Simon remains Simon with his pantomine baddie comments, Cheryl contributes nought apart from varying her 3 lines of ' I really enjoyed your voice' or ' I love you' or 'your gorgeous'. And occasionally crying when left to make a decision on crap singer's fate. (here's a tip - if they weren't good enough the 1st time - they won't be now)

Louis is a non - entity as far as I am concerned and contributes as much as a card board out out.

But what holds my curiousity is what the hell is happened to Dannii's face? Even Mr Catslife picked up on this. I cannot decide if she has went one botox injection too far into the world of Jocelyn Wildenstein or she needs to have a word with her makeup artist who obvious skill is making her clients look like stroke victims on camera.

Still Feckin Preggers.

'nuff said really.

I have been amusing myself with looking at new winter clothes to buy. I am actually quite impressed with some of Next's stuff (apart from their blatant M&S copying advert with wonky eyed Danni Minogue).

Only downside is when you go online to order anything it is all sold out or has what feels like a million weeks delivery wait time.

A bit like this lazy baby that I am carrying.

Still here..

My midwife told me today, that despite things happening it could be another 2 weeks. I don't think I can bear another fortnight of daily calls from various family members seeing if I am 'still there'.

In other news and observations I am loving Posh's New Crop. Not everyone's taste, but I do admire short hair on women. Stylish women I might add, not the Shirley from Eastenders look..

I think things are beginning to happen..

the signs are there folks.. I woke this morning and thought I had peed myself but now I suspect it was my waters breaking. (it isn't really like in the films with a tidal wave - it can be a slow trickle fact fans). Since then weird pains and other things are starting to happen and I am now sitting oddly alert and very nervous like I am about to go into an interview.

Anyway to keep the mood light and stop myself freaking too much, I think Mickey Rouke demonstrates a good arguement why you shouldn't mess with what nature gave you.

Je Ne Pas Sexy.

Well, the wallpaper trip went fine, although the 2 hour matching paint to the selction of papers (How many shades shades of white/ magnolia is there FFS?!)was a bit testing.

My gran still haven't picked one yet, but she left happy clutching more samples than a sample factory. Someone else can now pick up the mantle of the next buying stage..

In between my last post I have managed to tear a muscle in my abdomen after trying to dry Reggie the other night when he came in from the rain. (My cats do like a good rub with a towel).

So the midwife has just left and I am now wearing what I can only describe as a full body tubi-grip and a wriggling baby who can also feel the difference in pressure. I look an utter state & I am never going to get it off and then on again myself. There is a good chance that I could be tubi-gripped until I go into labour now.

I tell you, I will not be down this pregnancy route again, purely out of fashion principles. He or she will just have to make do with cat-brothers.

Take That and WTF??!

Now I have never been a Take That fan, so I am not really very clued up on their earlier hits..

But I came across this mouth opening shocker last night on one of the music channels.



Chainmail jock straps and jelly covered asses... I bet this didn't make it onto the greatest hits album.

Old Skool Rock.

11 Days to go..

until the antichrist is meant to put in an appearance. I am now officially on maternity leave and living the life of a lady of leisure. I would like to say I am enjoying it but I feel oddly redundant and concerned that I am dropping behind.

This coupled with the waiting and people's phone calls/ texts/ emails asking if there are any twinges. And of course not really knowing what a twinge should feel like. I have a fear of going into labour and not knowing it is happening, or assuming it is just another pain of pregnancy, leaving it too late & ending up giving birth in the back of my car or something equally as embarrassing.

Funnily enough my Mum just laughs when I tell her this and gives me a knowing smile along with the lines of 'oh don't worry, you WILL know when you are in labour'. Great. Just great.

So I have been amusing myself with catching up with friends I haven't seen in ages, midiwife/ doc appointments and meeting my Mum for lunch. Today I am taking my gran wallpaper shopping, which I have an inkling might turn into another painful repeat of the wedding outfit buying from a few months back. But at least it keeps me from watching daytime TV.

For Miss F..

I saw this and thought of you. Please don't be holding anything hot when opening the link...



Surf's up Baby..