A Cat's Life

Getting Inked.

2009-02-22T12:57:00.002Z

I am really wanting a tattoo on my wrist. I am thinking of something to do with Mini-catslife - maybe his time and DOB - along the lines of Angelina Jolie's coordinates on her arm.

Is that too obvious though?

Cooking doesn't get tougher than this...

2009-02-19T11:38:00.006Z

Did you see the Brits Last night?? I watched some of it, I always expect more of these things and them to be better than they are.

U2 of course are fab, but Bono makes me cringe a bit now as he is a wee bit too old and watching him dance felt oddly like watching your Dad try to cut some moves at a wedding.

Kylie looked great but as always way too much botox (I wonder if her and Danni get some kind of family discount?)

I am gradually warming to Girls Aloud ( although that feckin Promise song does my head in), but how lashed was the Sarah one? They did look great though and rocked the feather burlesque job - but I am sure Kylie has done something similar..

I watched it until I got fed up pondering who did Duffy's make up as the fake eyelashes were a really bad, bad job, then decided to watch Masterchef.

Now I am seriously addicted to Masterchef. I love the whole build up and by week 2, just like X factor you are an expert judge and can spot who is going out or onwards in the first 10 minutes. I love the fact that John Torode and Gregg Wallace get fatter as the series goes on, and of course Gregg cannot resist a pudding. I actually wonder if he can dislocate his bottom jaw as he seems to be able to fit a ladle size spoon in there..

It is now done to the quarter finals, with some unlucky bugger going out tonight. My money is on the young guy - he is too inexperienced. The winner - I reckon the guy who has came back from last year's heats.

Back to Reality

2009-02-19T11:21:00.003Z

Can you believe My Boy is 5 months already? 5 months! where did the time go? I won't drone on and on about baby-detail (cause I know it is boring to everyone apart from Mr Catslife and Granny- Catslife) but it is amazing how quick babies learn things. Things we take for granted and obviously all learned ourselves, but each week I see a little step forward in his coordination or communication abilities.

I have 4 months left until I return to work and my thoughts are returning to the real world. I work in the Banking Sector and unless you have been on planet Zog for the last 6 months, you may have noticed things aren't too hot there at the moment. This has got me thinking about what I want to do when I return to work. I know I do want to go back to work - don't get me wrong being a Mum is brilliant and Son of Catslife is the love of my life, but I do need adult company to keep me sane- but I don't think I want to go back to the work I did.

There are offers of redundancies floating around, there are other jobs out there, but do I take a risk? My mind is ticking overtime on what to do.

The other thing I have learned is that children pick up every cold and nasty going. We have all had a horrible stomach bug that originated in Mini-C and quickly spread round the whole family. After 2 days of vomiting and 3 days not eating, any remains of baby weight have now gone. unfortunately the pale gaunt look that I am sporting isn't as great and has me seriously considering some type of cosmetic filler treatment.

Rage.

2008-11-16T17:39:00.004Z

I am not sure if it is the fact I am now the mother of a young baby boy or I am emotionally not very strong at the moment, but undoubtably like every other parent out there, the tragic death of Baby P has horrified me beyond words. I have shed a tear while feeding my son in the early morning hours when my thoughts morbidly turned to the lonely death that the little boy had in his cot.

Like any I cannot fathom how anyone would treat an animal far less their own flesh and blood like this and I feel powerless and furious at the same time over this tragedy.

I truly wish the mother and step father/boyfriends a painful slow death, not unsimilar to that of baby P, but my true rage lies at the catalogue of incompetence by the social work and GP's that were meant to protect this child.

As an employee of a bank, I have personal responsibilty to ensure I follow the laws and guidelines set by the FSA and within the banking code. If I don't do my job and break the rules, I personally could be charged and end up with a heafty fine and criminal record. These people have a duty and responsibility with greater reasons. I know socail workers are overworked and the national services are under strain, but how a GP can miss a broken back, bite marks and missing finger tips is nothing short of unbeleivable. If I had my way, that individual would be serving time in prison along with the parents.

RIP, Baby P, a nation mourns your short life. X

Son of a Witch..

2008-10-13T15:55:00.003+01:00

Well, I am back & I am the proud mum of a very handsome baby boy. I went into labour the day after my sweep and the boy was was born on the Thursday afternoon. Things didn't go to plan, as he was a big baby and managed to get stuck, so it was the sunroof option in the end, but the scar and shuffling like a geratric afterwards was definately worth it. Although I am still undecided if I will be down the the pregnancy route again.

For those wondering about the pains of labour, I can honestly say it wasn't too bad, bad as I had an epidural so despite labouring for 14 hours, I didn't feel a thing and slept through most of it!

I think it was more trauamatic for my hubbie watching the monitor of heart rates and his endurance of the hours passing.

The days are flying by in measurements of sleep and volumes of feeds but we are slowing getting into a routine and I am now back into pre-pregnancy clothes with only a 1/2 stone to loose until I am back to my usual weight. So not all bad at all.

I also have the new joy of tiny clothes shopping for a male who doesn't complain no matter how long I spent looking at shoes!

No News, goddamit.

2008-09-17T11:44:00.003+01:00

Well I was back at the midwife yesterday and had a membrane sweep done. (don't read if you have any fear of child birth please.) I can now totally sympathise with those poor cows you see on Vetinary programmes with someone's arm stuck up inside them.

So after an afternoon of cramps , I had my hopes of going last night. I'm 'fraid not - seems the Antichrist is holding on in there, despite my midwife's gorrilla handed attempts to shake him/her out.

My Mum told me yesterday, that I was a MONTH late - my due date was the 8/11 and my birthday is 6/12! Jeez. The good news is that in this day and age they don't let you go that long, so my midwife will phone the hospital on Friday AM for an inducing date between Mon - Wed next week , so the end is now in sight.

I am REALLY fed up now and going shopping this afternoon - I am refusing to be housebound anymore! Fingers crossed my waters break when I am in M&S!!

On a more annoying note, I have managed to do something to my mobile phone account online so can't reply to the umpteen texts that people are sending to see how I am and b*starding Vodaphone Customer Service is doing my head in with what seems to be their fundamental employment criteria of staff must have a single figure number of brain cells..

I now remember why I left them before.

For Miss F..

2008-09-16T12:41:00.000+01:00

Don't do it..

X Factor

2008-09-16T12:27:00.002+01:00

Having not much to do these days but wait and lower my IQ level with daytime TV, I have become a voyeur of odd programmes that I never new existed and watching repeats of things I don't usually have time to see.

X Factor is one of these. Now I don't know why I keep watching, because they seem to be rolling out he sob stories to disguise the fact that the talent is wearing thin this year and I am meaning with the judges. Simon remains Simon with his pantomine baddie comments, Cheryl contributes nought apart from varying her 3 lines of ' I really enjoyed your voice' or ' I love you' or 'your gorgeous'. And occasionally crying when left to make a decision on crap singer's fate. (here's a tip - if they weren't good enough the 1st time - they won't be now)

Louis is a non - entity as far as I am concerned and contributes as much as a card board out out.

But what holds my curiousity is what the hell is happened to Dannii's face? Even Mr Catslife picked up on this. I cannot decide if she has went one botox injection too far into the world of Jocelyn Wildenstein or she needs to have a word with her makeup artist who obvious skill is making her clients look like stroke victims on camera.

Still Feckin Preggers.

2008-09-15T17:12:00.002+01:00

'nuff said really.

I have been amusing myself with looking at new winter clothes to buy. I am actually quite impressed with some of Next's stuff (apart from their blatant M&S copying advert with wonky eyed Danni Minogue).

Only downside is when you go online to order anything it is all sold out or has what feels like a million weeks delivery wait time.

A bit like this lazy baby that I am carrying.

Still here..

2008-09-09T22:36:00.002+01:00

My midwife told me today, that despite things happening it could be another 2 weeks. I don't think I can bear another fortnight of daily calls from various family members seeing if I am 'still there'.

In other news and observations I am loving Posh's New Crop. Not everyone's taste, but I do admire short hair on women. Stylish women I might add, not the Shirley from Eastenders look..

I think things are beginning to happen..

2008-09-06T15:55:00.005+01:00

the signs are there folks.. I woke this morning and thought I had peed myself but now I suspect it was my waters breaking. (it isn't really like in the films with a tidal wave - it can be a slow trickle fact fans). Since then weird pains and other things are starting to happen and I am now sitting oddly alert and very nervous like I am about to go into an interview.

Anyway to keep the mood light and stop myself freaking too much, I think Mickey Rouke demonstrates a good arguement why you shouldn't mess with what nature gave you.

Je Ne Pas Sexy.

2008-09-04T15:26:00.007+01:00

Well, the wallpaper trip went fine, although the 2 hour matching paint to the selction of papers (How many shades shades of white/ magnolia is there FFS?!)was a bit testing.

My gran still haven't picked one yet, but she left happy clutching more samples than a sample factory. Someone else can now pick up the mantle of the next buying stage..

In between my last post I have managed to tear a muscle in my abdomen after trying to dry Reggie the other night when he came in from the rain. (My cats do like a good rub with a towel).

So the midwife has just left and I am now wearing what I can only describe as a full body tubi-grip and a wriggling baby who can also feel the difference in pressure. I look an utter state & I am never going to get it off and then on again myself. There is a good chance that I could be tubi-gripped until I go into labour now.

I tell you, I will not be down this pregnancy route again, purely out of fashion principles. He or she will just have to make do with cat-brothers.

Take That and WTF??!

2008-09-03T10:46:00.003+01:00

Now I have never been a Take That fan, so I am not really very clued up on their earlier hits..

But I came across this mouth opening shocker last night on one of the music channels.

Chainmail jock straps and jelly covered asses... I bet this didn't make it onto the greatest hits album.

Old Skool Rock.

2008-09-01T09:19:00.001+01:00

11 Days to go..

2008-09-01T09:07:00.004+01:00

until the antichrist is meant to put in an appearance. I am now officially on maternity leave and living the life of a lady of leisure. I would like to say I am enjoying it but I feel oddly redundant and concerned that I am dropping behind.

This coupled with the waiting and people's phone calls/ texts/ emails asking if there are any twinges. And of course not really knowing what a twinge should feel like. I have a fear of going into labour and not knowing it is happening, or assuming it is just another pain of pregnancy, leaving it too late & ending up giving birth in the back of my car or something equally as embarrassing.

Funnily enough my Mum just laughs when I tell her this and gives me a knowing smile along with the lines of 'oh don't worry, you WILL know when you are in labour'. Great. Just great.

So I have been amusing myself with catching up with friends I haven't seen in ages, midiwife/ doc appointments and meeting my Mum for lunch. Today I am taking my gran wallpaper shopping, which I have an inkling might turn into another painful repeat of the wedding outfit buying from a few months back. But at least it keeps me from watching daytime TV.

For Miss F..

2008-09-01T09:05:00.002+01:00

I saw this and thought of you. Please don't be holding anything hot when opening the link...

Surf's up Baby..

The countdown has begun..

2008-08-08T08:50:00.002+01:00

Well, if science is right, I have 5 weeks to go until the big day. And a whole 2 weeks left to work. I have funny feelings about finishing up, partly worry that I will have a job to go back to (if any of you pay attention to the banking half year profit results, you will understand why) but also looking forward to a break from it all. I am thinking of taking the opportuntiy for an industry change and maybe use my skills in an area that I have more personal interest in.

I have also started my parenting/ antenatal classes which are proving interesting.It covers everythign from the birth (oh god) through to getting the baby home & bathing it. If I am honest this is the bit that is scaring me the most - it seems so technical and practicing on a doll isn'tthe same as 8lbs of squirming real baby.

The other mums and dads-to-be are an odd bunch who do not say much and I wonder if they understand at times. Some of them look like the do not want to be there.

At home the nursery is finished and we have a nightly challenge of keeping the cats out the room/ cot/ basket as they think it should be their's. Boy are they in for a shock.

Other news is that I having a massive clear out & flogging things on ebay - I had forgotten how much of an asshole city that site has become & I wishing I hadn't started.

Getting scared.

2008-07-02T19:03:00.004+01:00

This article in the news today absolutely terrified me.I realise it is a rare thing, but the utter horror of it has haunted my thoughts all day.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1031198/Woman-stole-baby-alive-mothers-womb-feared-husband-leave-lied-pregnancy.html

It struck me now I am quite far on in my pregnancy how scared I am getting with things. Yesterday I was out walking my Mum's dog (who we are looking after at the moment - the cats just love that). Anyway I passed a man on a lonely bit of pathway & realised that if he attacked me i wouldn't have the strength to defend myself and even if I could fight back he could still damage my baby. Now I know he wasn't going to try anything when I had a 10stone alsatian by my side, nor was he doing anything remotely threatening, but it suddenly woke me up to what it meant to be a parent and the fears for years to come that I will have, that my mum always said I wouldn't understand until I had my own children

Things they don't tell you about being pregnant..

2008-06-10T12:39:00.001+01:00

Is the odd dreams. For example, I recently dreamt that I was a vampire. Infact head of a vampire coven, that lived in a big castle that faced on to a grave yard.. The castle had patio doors that too for some odd reason.. Anyway I had agreed with the head of another vampire coven thing that we were going to join households, and he had came to my castle with some of his people where we were going to do some biting ceremony.

All was going well with the proceedings until I came across one of his stupid members, who had cut a whole in the patio door glass & was eating Reggie's legs through it. Reggie was ok, but the bottom part of his legs were nibbled down to the bone leaving his feet and stupid wee stick legs.. I then I went ballistic smashing vampire skulls and woke myself up with the rage.

I really shouldn't eat cheese before I go to bed...

Today's news..

2008-06-10T12:20:00.002+01:00

In lazy bullet points again because I am getting lazier. Fact.

* I am currently interviewing for my maternity cover which is a very odd feeling. When I have ever left a job before I couldn't give a monkeys who they gave it too, but as I am intending returning to work, I am slightly more proetective of the role because I don't want someone who can do it better, or someone who f**ks it up and I have a mess to come back too. It is a fine line y'know.

* The tiredness and hormones are taking effect now, I find myself having moments of panic over not knowing what the hell to do with babies or that I am going to be stuck on my own. my mood fluctuates between happy glee then murderous black moods and my growing belly feeling out breath doesn't help my confidence.

* The cats seem to be involved in some knid of street turf warfare with a monster of a fluffy ginger cat, whom we have named 'Old Red'. Old Red is as hard as nails because not only does he take on Alfie The Muscle without fear, he fights H-Man at the same time. I would like to say Reggie joins in too, but he seems more interested in chasing moths than a knife show. So far H-man has returned with a scratched eye and Alfie spends his time at strategic lookout points like the neighbours roof searching for Old Red approaching.

* I really want a Louis Vuitton bag. To the point I am obsessed with it. I know they aren't to everyone's taste and there are a lot of fakes out there, but I have my heart set on a Speedy 30. Technically I should be spending that money on nursery furniture. Pah.

* Miss F has informed me that Keifer is getting married. I can only comment that is it undoubtedly rebound as both of us are officially of the market.. And anyway Mads is higher up the list these days after watching Casino Royale again on Saturday.

The weekend rundown.

2008-05-27T12:36:00.001+01:00

Aren't long weekends just the business? No horrible sunday night 'back to school' dread and of course that priceless feeling of looking at the clock at 7.30am on the Monday & being able to bury back under the covers for as long as you want ( well until your neighbour's builders wake you, in my case). Then of course there is the short 4 day week, that zips by before you know it.

My weekend was a mixture of cinema ( indiana jones, fact fans), pizza, gardening, picking paint colours for decorating and some retail therapy. A good effort I think you will agree.

I had good intentions of arriving bright & bubbly for work today, however an ordeal before even leaving for work this morning - involving the bloody cats & a baby bird. Running around your garden at 8.30 am while 6 months pregnant trying to round up 3 cats / capture a baby bird is not good for the mood. Didn't help that husband dearest didn't help and was on the phone about another work crisis and unwittingly let the cats back out after I had got them in.

So I left for work upset as I couldn't get the cats in or get the wee bird to a place of safety. I am now sitting in a foul mood with my headphones on ignoring everyone.

The good news is that my best friend also joins my company in 2 weeks and I cannot wait to be able to see her every day like we used to do, when we worked together before. Work is a slightly better place when you know you have a real friend not far away.

A pill to make you numb. A pill to make you dumb.

2008-05-26T19:48:00.005+01:00

Do you ever wish you could switch off your brain for a bit & stop thinking about things? Or is it dumb yourself down so you don't take people's ill thought words to heart.

Several of my friends are like this too - we think too much. As a result we often get hurt by words that are thrown casually and then expected to be forgotten about when really it cuts deep and carries a scar, even though it isn't noticeable to the eye.

I am now in a position with a friend, who has said somethings over time either deilbrately or ignorantly, and doesn't understand that I have taken them to heart and now don't see a friendship existing there anymore. I feel they choose their path and I have to mine, but still I feel guilty and cruel for decisions that weren't mine.

A pill to make you anybody else..

Superstylin'

2008-05-23T18:16:00.002+01:00

This song was playing on the radio as I drove home tonight, and it got me in the bank holiday weekend feeling. I saw them live at Brixton a few years ago & hearing the song still makes me grin when I think off all the crowd bouncing.

So turn up it up , enjoy and get in the sunshine mood.

I hope you all have a good 'un.

Things that are on my mind from this week..

2008-05-23T13:21:00.001+01:00

* I have learned that sometimes it is best not to interfere, that things usually work out for the best even if it doesn't seem like it at the time.

* Most people do not listen to advice, even when asked for. It is hard to gain a perspective on things when you are stuck in the middle of it. And you have to accept this when giving advice.

* Everyday when I am driving to & from work, I amuse myself spotting the baby rabbits that are feeding on the grass verge. There is one bit in particular where there is a black rabbit, that I imagine is an escaped domestic pet, now living free, mixing his genes in the pool of wild ones. I like that thought.

* I have zero motivation this week and I am so tired. I have never looked forward to a bank holiday week end so much in my life.

Sex in the.. Whatever.

2008-05-21T13:47:00.003+01:00

Is it just me or is anyone else out there totally uninterested in this movie and kinda feels the whole Carrie et al has had their day?

It might be brilliant and for all the die hard SATC fans, I am sure it is a big deal. I just have a feeling it is going to be like the Simpsons Movie - it is ok, but missing a little something and probably not worth a trip to the cinema for..

Or maybe I am just old and cynical and was never a great fan to begin with..

Banned.

2008-05-21T11:58:00.001+01:00

Not for the faint hearted. You have been warned.

Changing yourself..

2008-05-21T11:29:00.003+01:00

A bit of a musing for your wednesday afternoon..would you change yourself or your tastes to make someone like you better?

I have came across a couple of examples in the last couple of weeks with friends, that have quite frankly shocked me. Exhibit A has literally adjusted her personality and given up almost all of her own personal morales and boundaries to ultimately massage the ego of one insecure and vey selfish male. I am by the sidelines watching her self worth being broken down, unable to help and my advice is falling on deaf ears.

Exhibit B, is transforming their tastes to fit with a new friends tastes. Now everyone grows and adjusts picing up little bits of ideas and outlooks like cat hairs on a new coat, from the people we meet on a regular basis.. but this person is going to an extreme, listening to music that is not easily likeable.. let me try colour this example.. It is not unknown that I have an obsession with Marilyn Manson, not just his music, but his persona, his outlook and for personal reasons I can relate to the story of how be transformed from Brian Warner (worm boy in his words) to the persona he has created today ( the antichrist in some people's minds). But it isn't the type of music that I would recommend to my friends in passing ' oh have you heard MM's new song?' as it isn't really mainstream and nor does it make the charts or MTV playlist most of the time. For someone to suddenly buy into a scene overnight that is so against their own tastes is slightly odd in my opinion.

These are both friends that I thought were strong individuals, and I am saddened for them both.

On a lighter note, this piece of news had me laughing and wondering if it was a joke on the part of the BBC .. otherwise it is reassuring to know that the heat & cheap lager means the loonies are consistant in their antics year after year..

Viva Las Vegas.

2008-05-21T11:21:00.005+01:00

Well, I return from Las Vegas as officially Mrs Catslife, I won't bore you with pictures and details, but it wasa lovely relaxed time & the wedding was what we wanted.

People have been asking me since I returned if it feels different being married, especially after livng together for 5 years.. in some ways it does, I aware it is for the long haul now but it also feel more secure and a we are true team against the world. (apart from last night when I had a hissy fit over something ridiculous - but that is a story for another day).

Unfortunately, the mundane day to day chores haven't changed with my change of status and life continues as normal. Work has also continued with the same mixture of madness, blood, sweat & tears as before, with the same stupid decisions being made.

I am now counting the weeks to my maternity leave and giving serious thought to a career or industry change in my time off.

Some tunes for your tuesday evening..

2008-04-15T18:39:00.001+01:00

I do like Kanye West, plus this one features Jamie Foxx, who is..well a fox.

getting old, smashing cars and dresses.

2008-04-15T18:34:00.002+01:00

First and foremostly, you will be pleased to know that I survived Saturday's Shopping Saga, we only visited Jacque Vert twice and I am pleased to say the lilac jacket groping of previous visits has resulted in a purchase. Now we just have to get a hat & it is a done deal.

For the same wedding, I chose this dress, which I will wear with a 60's style floppy hat & lots of bangles.

I also bought my wedding dress which is very informal but pretty all the same. I will post pictures after the event as Mr C is being very superstitious and not wanting to see it before then. fingers crossed the bump doesn't decided to grow any bigger in the next week & a half.

Finally this story brightened my day, with the description of ' The retired church minister lost control as he reversed outside the Porsche showroom next to his home, hitting a red Carrera II, which acted as a ramp and flipped the Fiesta car over on to a silver 911' cracking me up.

Of course the big question is, what speed was the geriatric Evil Kenevel was doing in reverse to manage this feat..

Ground Hog Day Part II

2008-04-12T07:51:00.002+01:00

Amongst the other odd things that seem to happen to you when you are pregnant -leg cramps, sore backs, odd muscle stretching feelings and nosebleeds, to mention a few.. I have found myself waking very early. Too early for a Saturday. This morning's alarm call was 6am.

So I am sitting waiting on a bath running, and mentally preparing myself for a re-run of last Saturday.

We are back to Glasgow again. To look at the same lilac jacket that was groped/ tried on and pondered over no less than 5 times last week. Despite, yes despite, the fact that my Gran left the same shopping centre last week, with an outfit purchased and wrapped in tissue paper like all those posh stores do. But she wants to go back to Jacque Verts again.

It is becoming like a Pavlof's experiement, the very mention of the brand name & I can feel a headache starting..

Wish me luck.

Ms Catsllife & the Graduate.

2008-04-11T10:54:00.000+01:00

I now have a young graduate sitting opposite me at work. For those that do not work in a large organisation that has Graduate Schemes, these are young keen types just out of university, who do various placements around the company, picking up crap tasks in departments that no-one else can be ar$ed with, all with the shiny promise that it builds experience and one day they will be great.

You can usually spot them a mile off and I am not sure what annoys me more - his young bright eyed keenness, his penchant for pink ties, maybe the fact he has to ask lots of questions to everything he is asked to do or the fact his aftershave smells like Mr Pledge and is giving me a headache.

However I have decided to turn this annoyance into an amusing sport, as I have discovered is that the stuffed pigeon that sits on my desk worries him. (You can't beat a bit of taxidermy to freak the Vanilla types).

So I am proceeding to convince Grad-Bot ( as I have decided to name the little droid) that I have a sideline in making house décor out of road kill.. My best selling item is resin sealed flattened rabbits as food place mats… I do bigger animals such as foxes as dining room tables or coffee tables.. He is sitting aghast and confused at the 'does not compute ' conflict of my blonde sunny type appearance coupled with the tales of stuffing & moulding flattened mammals for a living.

Later I shall do a wee bit research to the technical bits of taxidermy & that will be feature in future conversations with him..

How goes it?

2008-04-11T10:39:00.000+01:00

I haven't been blogging much lately, as I haven't had much to report, other than the depressing gorwth of my waist.

Mr C & I have got our wedding sorted, and we jet off to the US of A, in 2 weeks time. I have still to think about my dress, which I am putting off as I don't really know what to wear and also the bump is growing at an alarming rate these days. Speaking of the bump, everything is fine there, all tests have came back well, and it seems I am truly building the next super race.

Last weekend was a day shopping on Saturday with my Gran & parents to Glasgow for outfits for a family wedding we have in May (not mine!) - turned out to be utter hell & we were in Jacque Vert, no less than 5 times. I didn't manage to look at much (due to our Jacque Vert ground hog style session) othe than Maternity wear in New Look was depressing to say the least.
Why does nowhere do nice maternity clothes - unless you are a combats & trainers girl, you are fooked. Didn't help my gran wandered over into the Inspire size 16 -22 area and starting lifting things that she thought were nice. I promptly had a hissy fit, stating I am pregnant and although I have a bump - I haven't doubled my friggin body size.

So I came home and spend a fortune on my Husband-to-be's credit card on Isabella Oliver stuff, and swore to myself that I won't be doing this pregnancy lark ever again.

Other than that I am in bad mood and hating being in work. I truly believe I am not cut out for working. Surely was made for greater things other than this mundane?

As a result I am taking a 1/2 day holiday today mainly because I cannot face the sh1te conversations that are babbling on around me. I am not even in the mood for torturing the new graduate placement AKA the grad-bot who is sitting opposite me today.

Best line I have heard trip out a Director's mouth this morning.. 'Its up to us to live and breath it. And live and breath it we shall' - he was talking about a flipping IT system's change.

These Fudricks should be shot on sight for that kind of drivel. Seriously, the people without brains & the grad-bots take that kind of thing to heart, and start parroting it out. It is the business equivelant of the Crazy Frog song.

I sat open mouthed..

2008-03-05T15:59:00.001Z

watching this last night..

An Update from the Land of Oz..

2008-03-05T14:00:00.003Z

Things have been a bit low the last few week's if I am honest, I am spending my time sleeping when I can and eating like a horse. For those who haven't been pregnant before I can only liken it to a hangover (but without the fun of drinking the day before) - you constantly have that empty hungry feeling and are tired despite sleeping for 10 hours. I am told this will pass once I am into my 2nd trimester, which I am now officially in, so here's hoping. Other wise I am going to be the size of a house in now time at all.

The Boy and I (should I keeping calling him that - now he is going to be a father?) are currently planning our wedding, the original and traditional function has been ditched in favour of a little white chapel & burgers number in Las Vegas.

Between you and me, I am much happier with this as I have never been a 'oooh my dream wedding' type of gal as I hate being the centre of attention. Plus I don't have to deal with the ordeal of aunts who don't speak to each other, creating a menu that isn't 'too posh' for some folk and generally sorting out the the shit that goes along with entertaining family.

The cats are still being the cats with the usual mixture of boisterous and destruction. With the slighter better weather they are now outside and prowling about the estate in a pack of 3, terrorising small children and animals without discrimination.

Thankfully the small mammal body count race hasn't started yet, but I am waiting for the 1st baby bunny carcass to appear.

Some surprise news...

2008-02-28T13:39:00.001Z

A secret to share with you all today, that should explain why I have been such a crap blogger over the last few weeks... The Boy & I will be welcoming the attached blob to the world on the 15th September (or there about!), I am sure if you look closely you can just make out the 666 ..

I won’t bore you with pregnancy woes (it isn’t that bad actually), but all I will say is that I am convinced there is a propaganda against women who don’t have kids yet. They don’t tell you all the facts..

I swear if they told some of these things to teenagers, we would have NO under age pregnancies..

Something to cheer up your day..

2008-02-16T13:27:00.001Z

I promise you will be smiling come Saturday night fever..

I have mood poisoning, it must be something I hate..

2008-02-04T15:03:00.000Z

Things that are annoying me at the moment..

*Text speak. There is nothing more unbecoming than text speak from someone over 20, far less looking down the barrel of 40. It isn't cool, it just makes you look like a sad twat.

* people who won't take no for an answer. Stop pushing for me to change my mind. I have told you my thoughts and I ain't changing it now matter how often you ask.

* people who won't make a decision. When I say I don't mind - you decide. I literally mean that, I don't mean for you to keep asking until I have to organise something myself.

* People who do not answer your question - I asked you to find out 3 things, 3, which I implicitly spelled out to you. So why do you keep coming back with the answer to just one & then I have to ask after the other 2, to have the answer to one and the chase begins again.

* people who phone you for a chat, but expect you to do all the talking and don't really contribute to a conversation. If you have nothing to say don't phone and waste my time with your gaping silences that I feel obliged to fill.

This list may grow as Monday and my rage progresses.

Tastes Like Valentine.

2008-01-30T20:13:00.001Z

Fat Cat.

2008-01-29T12:38:00.000Z

I think Alf is overweight. I am going to take him to the vets and find out. He is 4, he cannot still be growing, but he is huge now and very heavy. He doesn’t look massively fat, but I cannot lift him properly now and even The Boy struggles to lift him.

I giggled to myself the other night as I heard him rounding them up for bedtime (they get shut downstairs other wise it is Cat carnival all night) and when D went to pick him up he went ' right Alf, time for bed.. Ooof.. Jeez Alf you aren't half piling the pounds on'..

No other news apart from someone is eating something very stinky for lunch in here today and it is permeating through the whole office. Don’t you just hate lunchtimes in an open plan office.

Bad Blogger

2008-01-22T10:34:00.001Z

I know I haven't posted for a few days, work has been so hectic that I have had nothing in real life happening and I really don't want to bore you with the mundanes and lunancy that is my employment.

Outside the mad house, The Reggler is now getting free range outside. I spent a few fraught hours on Saturday anxiously watching out the windows for him, but I realised at some point Cat-Mommies have to let go and let them be big cats. He isn't going far and is returning after an hour, so all is well. Funnily enough I don't remember worrying about letting the other 2 out, it may just be because he seems so young and stupid in comparison to his big brothers.

I did also finally bit the bullet and get my hair cut - it is a cross between the Natalie post below an Katie Holmes bob. I do love it but feel strangely young. (maybe because Suri has the same one too)

On a personal level, I do have some news but you will have to wait a few days more until I tell you as I am trying to get my own head round it myself.

The song in my head..

2008-01-10T19:07:00.001Z

I love Timbaland. And I like the chick's hair in the vid too..

Obituaries and porn

2008-01-10T17:34:00.000Z

I love the Russell Brand-ness of it..

'What will your obituary say?' at QuizGalaxy.com

And the best comment I heard today.. When discussing in the office the alledged rumour that the actor who plays Les Battersby used to be a porn star..

'Oh I dunno I haven't seen Porn.. Enough to comment'

The worst Monday of all..

2008-01-06T20:45:00.000Z

...arrives tomorrow. It is my 1st day back after a wonderful 2 weeks of doing nothing but sleeping late, eating rubbish, drinking too much and watching lots of horror movies.

It doesn't help that Shammy goes back to his owner tomorrow and while I am tempted to do a Britney & barricade myself in the bathroom, I know my selfishness will upset his 10 year old owner. That coupled with a week of travelling at work does not bode well.

I am also now feelnig the pressure of having to think about planning a wedding which leaves me wanting to run screaming (not the getting hitched I might add - just the day), so I will leave you with my favourite song at the moment, that I am trying to use as my outlook for the next week.

This is my reasoning for not going to the gym.

2008-01-02T11:07:00.000Z

Jesus.

If you are feeling really brave or fancy not eating for the next couple of hours, click on the uncensored version.

Happy New Year!

2008-01-01T11:46:00.000Z

I would like to pretend I have made some New Year's Resolutions, but I gave up on them a long time ago as I can never continue them by about the 7th January. And as I result I them beat myself up as I have failed again. So no resolutions from me.

What I did realise yesterday is that 2008 is going to be big year for me , so the things I will be mainly focusing on are:

* Planning a wedding and remaining positive throughout it : I have been a bit down over the last few weeks to the point of wondering why am I bothering, but yesterday at 2:30pm I had a realisation that this time next year I would be physically getting married ( this exact time next year I will be MRS Catslife!). I remembered I am doing it because I love The Boy and my Family.

* Getting that promotion : hopefully 2008 will see me bag that job. I have wanted it for a while, but I have again allowed myself to be disheartened by idiots and criticism. But no more, 2008 will see me refocusing and remembering where I want to be.

* Remembering who my friends are : As it says, I have neglectful and withdrawn for quite a bit of 2007, I intend to change that and get some of my old witchy magic back. And remember who it is that really matters, and the not all of the world is against me.

So here's to a better 2008, next week I shall be wedding dress shopping and trying not to snap at my mum when she is giving her opinion...

Catslife XX

Hamster Watch Week 2

2007-12-30T22:57:00.001Z

As you can see we are letting Shammy the Cannibal * out of his pen now.. He has daily routine runs round the room including climbing on the plant pot and biting anything he can get his little teeth into.

Reg plays warden and keeps a wary eye on him, cause we all know he has had the taste of blood ..

*Shammy actually killed and ate (yes ate!) his brother, so he is now in solitary confinement for his remaining years alive.

Hair issues

2007-12-29T22:41:00.000Z

I am considering getting my haircut. Like Natalie's below.. I have quite similar bone structure and colouring, so I have no fear of it not suiting me... My concern lies in that that I am getting married next year, actually it is precisely 1 year and 2 days time.. so should I be sensible keep growing it or think what the hell there is aaaaages yet? And who says brides need to have long hair anyway??

Atomic.

2007-12-29T18:14:00.001Z

A song for your Saturday.. I considered something festive, but you are probably as sick of Slade now as I am, so I will pick one of my all time favourites.

3 cats & a hamster.

2007-12-29T17:51:00.000Z

Well, did you survive Christmas? the overeating, the crap TV & the Eastender's drama? What about the family? Did you manage to crack a forced smile at your Grandfather's joke telling and force down enough brussel sprouts to keep the christmas day cook happy?

I had a lovely Christmas and received some lovely gifts including Italian cookery lessons that I will start in the New Year.

However, all festive glow is now gone from my house as the cats decided the tree had outlived it's welcome & brought it down lumberjack style in the middle of the night. So bum-smackings were dealt out indiscriminently to the 3 of them this morning & the remains of my baubles and tinsel are now packed away.

We also have a lodger over Christmas, in the form of a Syberian Hamster, called Shammy. I have fallen in love with the wee critter even though he is a biter and a fearless one at that.

As you can see, the cats are very interested in him as well, but I think it is more wondering what his brains taste like than how cute his little black eyed stare is..

Happy Mondays…

2007-12-17T11:08:00.000Z

And I am starting the week as I intend to carry on .. By doing very little. Apart from embracing the many of nights out over the next few days with gusto and letting the days pass in a hangover blur. So I started the day by meeting my BF for a coffee and our dastardly Monday AM chat which ranges from nights out, shoes, the general gossip of the depts, jobs, weddings, and creative ways of killing people when we take over the world.

The other news is that red fringed lady has now dyed it pink and is wearing a pink top to match. The mind boggles.

Oh and it bloody freezing here. Minus 6 Degrees to be precise.

Wednesday Musings

2007-12-12T11:36:00.000Z

Do you ever look at people and wonder Why did you do that to your hair? I am sitting on a call gazing at a girl who has brown shoulder length hair, but she has dyed her fringe red. Only her fringe. I think it meant to be like that cool girl Saffron from that band Republica a few years ago.. But it looks nothing like it. More home-knitted that cutting edge if you get my drift.

I also have a pregnant girl now sitting opposite me.. All she does is graze ALL day.. Crisps, jaffa cakes, hot chocolate... it is very hard not to eat crap when she is singly handily responsible for Tesco's junk food sales targets.

And finally, the most funniest thing I have heard in a while came from my mate.. It seems someone in her department has been tasked to gee up everyone up for xmas as they are so busy … what did she do? Bring in a tin of sweets? Arrange a fun quiz ? Or even put some tinsle up..

Nope, she referred to the David Brent 101 guide of Business management and set up some conf calls to discuss the spirit of christmas.. I love it.

rubbishness.

2007-12-11T12:41:00.000Z

How friggin cold is today?! I am sitting wrapped up at my desk like Captain Scott.. I swear who ever controls the heating levels in here is a sadist and turns it down when it gets colder outside.

I also have stomach cramps from hell, that I am convinced is tantamount to labour pains, not even the 3 super fast acting Nuerofen that I have washed down with coffee is making a difference.

Odd balls

2007-12-10T12:35:00.000Z

Well, the concert was brilliant. While I have been to many a concert before, I have never been to see someone who I adore. ( I am odd like that) So seeing Mr Manson in the flesh was equally weird and wonderful. I actually squealed when he walked on stage. He is brilliant live and his theatrics are there to cause outrage & provke thought. By far the scariest and oddest thing of it all was the religious protestors outside with their placards in the rain asking us to repent Manson's satan.
Thankfully my outfit wasn't such a hassle, I settled on black skinnies, a black camisole, red louboutin like heels, a Alexander McQueen Skull scarf and a black tuxedo jacket. I wasn't the most vanilla there by far, it was an odd mix from your full on Spooky Kids to people more my parents age & dressed as equally similar. Just goes to show..

On Friday I also got another tattoo. 3 blue stars on the opposing foot to my flowers. I will post a picture tonight when I get home. It was bloody painful and the tattoo artist agreed it is probably the sorest place to get it done. ( how hard am I??!)

Speaking of hard.. When I was sitting feet on display waiting on the pain to start, I witnessed a lunatic who came in and asked for some German SS tattoo being told to 'f**k off as we don't tattoo you nazi types'.

This after being told that the 10 inch tattoo that he already had on his chest wasn't anything SS related but was actually a 35 year old biker one. And he had been lied to… just proves, you should always research before you get inked..

And you don't mess with tattoo artists. Afterall they inflict pain for a living.

Jail Break

2007-12-07T09:59:00.000Z

Dig out that file Ms F, and I will start baking a cake... we are getting him out for Christmas..

Jack's doing Hard Time..

I am not sure if I like that mug shot.. he is hot and the white shirt is an old favourite, but it isn't the best picture to set a girl's pants on fire..

Some music for your Friday..

2007-12-07T09:18:00.001Z

Paying peanuts..

2007-12-07T09:05:00.000Z

This article made me laugh .. I have known the answer to this for years.. the researchers just have to phone my bank's call centre.. they will quickly realise there are lots of people wandering about that are in no way as a smart as a chimp.

I am holiday today..

2007-12-07T08:40:00.000Z

..well it was my birthday yesterday.. I usually take my birthday off work, but work committments meant for the 1st time ever I was actually in. It turned out not to bad, my team were lovely and bought me a lovely pink (I know) cake with sparkles and coloured bits on it. I in return gave them lots of sweets and laughed at the sugar rushes that ensued.

So today, was meant to a long lie in, but I woke early with a sore head and I am now drinking my 1st coffee of the day, waiting on the Nuerofen to work while the Escape Artist clambers over me.

Much more excitingly though, later today I am booked for another tattoo.. this time on the opposite foot and it will be a row of stars. I am bit twitchy about the pain, but it will be over soon enough. I shall regal you with tales of blood and pictures later.

But, the most exciting thing EVER, is happening at 7:30pm tommorrow .. Yes tomorrow night I am off to see The God of Fuck himself (his naming not mine I might add).. I cannot wait.

This is my 1st time seeing Mr Manson in concert and I have a few concerns..

Firstly what to wear is causing me a bit of concern. I am not a goth by any standards and to see me in the street I am appear quite the vanilla normal. But I do have extreme music tastes. So tomorrow evening I am concerned that I might be the odd one out in a arena full of mini Mansons. Nor do I want to Goth it up as I will be in some pubs before hand that do not appreciate extreme outfits..

Secondly the concert.. His shows have a bit of a reputation in the past, from him being arrested (public indecency) , fans being arrested, demonstration by the godly types, massive police presence to the actual show itself with things pig's blood being thrown on the audience and the drummer being knocked unconscious... Know I think he has toned it down since his younger days and his acts and music are more mainstream, but the thought of any other above options happening is not ideal.

Wish me luck.

Another year older..

2007-12-06T21:31:00.001Z

and no wiser for it.

Pah.

I really should feel like an adult now shouldn't I?

Things I have learned in the past week..

2007-12-05T16:34:00.000Z

* patent shoes are death traps.. The shiny stickness on each foot if clipped together cause immediate falling. Be warned. La Catslife has embarrassed herself a few times this week by stumbling/ staggering and sliding.

* You may be able to choose the man, but his family are a different matter. Take a good look before you jump, they are with you for the duration whether you like it or not.

* Funerals bring out the best and worst in people. As do the dividing of a will. I recommend you do your damnest to spend it all or leave all your money to your local cat home and save your family from themselves.

* once you are over the age of 30, the birthday's aren't as painful.

* Sometimes the smallest gestures, make the biggest impact.
* People who bring babies into work annoy me.

I wanna be a big rockstar.

2007-11-29T20:23:00.001Z

Back to Black

2007-11-29T18:32:00.001Z

Sums it up for me today..

The Last Barricade

2007-11-26T12:37:00.000Z

Well it is almost December.. Hasn't the the year has flown in? This time next year I will be true bag of nerves as it will be a mere 5 weeks to my wedding. Between you and me I am having real panic attack moments .. i know it is just nerves, but it feels a bit like I am then a proper adult. No more excuses..

And when I think about it I can't really say why. I think it is actually the commitment part. Not in a sense of being faithful, but it is the putting your heart in someone else's hands. It isn't the giving myself forever more to my other half, it the sudden realisation that how fragile my heart is. It is almost the fear of failure. What if he decides he doesn't want me? I have seen so many other relationships recently explode/ implode/ dissolve before my eyes and suddenly I am truly scared.

You see, I am a true Sagittarius, I hide behind my freedom and know I can do what I want when I want, but really it is a proetection that I put up. Suddenly I am thinking being married feels like being owned? That I am someone's to throw away or decide they no longer want?

It is like the last barricade of my heart that I am taking down. And I know I am being silly, but the fear is still there. I have wanted to be his wife for so long (since I met him) and now I am about to, I am petrified. It maybe that the news on Thursday about that other couple just shook me a wee bit and I have suddenly realised after 30 years on the planet how easy it is to be hurt.

Flying Foxes, green eyeshadow, a soap star and a Red Wedding.

2007-11-23T11:21:00.000Z

I had another weird dream last night about Jay in Eastenders and my psycho ex boyfriend ( he was a mean ol' Ex) . I dreamt we were in bed in this big old house and Pyscho Ex came to the room door. I knew it was him and was scared & hide under the covers.

Anyway Jay got up & I could hear them talking outside the door, Jay saying to wasn't me, it was someone else. But I could hear Pyscho Ex getting angrier and angrier and I was worried he would hurt Jay so I got up & went outside the room door.

Suddenly his Mum and equally nutty sister appeared and dragged me downstairs to the wedding they had planned for him & I. When I got down everyone & everything was red, the food was red, there was red streamers everywhere and she was trying to get me to wearing this awful red velvet dress.

I started crying saying it wasn't meant ot be and she kept trying to get me to hold a flower bouquet made from red tissue paper. My head seems to be subconciously filled with worries that I am not aware of when awake, which is perturbing me.

So this morning I am very tired and wearing an uninspiring outfit of a black cocoon dress, opaques, ankle boots and and a leopard print pashima. My hair is slightly wild with my fringe forward.. The only saving grace is that I sporting some emerald Barry M eyeshadow which I am loving at the moment and coveting more of.

I have also fell in love with these little critters, not to everyones taste I know, but who can resist those little faces.. I am pretty sure I could give half a dozen a home in my spare room..

A rebel from the waist down.

2007-11-22T12:57:00.001Z

Can't beat a grown man with tattoos in Suspenders and make up..

The blog has a new look.

2007-11-22T11:37:00.000Z

It suits my mood.

Thursday blues.

2007-11-22T10:18:00.000Z

I am working from home today. I couldn't face being in the office today, partly because I didn't sleep well last night & had weird dreams about self harming.

I dreamt of being in my parents previous house where I grew up and I realised that my Director at work had bought it. She was showing me round pointing out all the the things she had changed. I was trying to tell her politely that I knew the house and I looked down & my arms were covered in hundreds of cuts. I was in shock & couldn't believe I had done it to myself.

So I woke early and decided that my day would be much more productive from home (ha! As she blogs), threw on some clothes & nipped into the office to send key documents back home. I was greeted by one of our young managers upset as her fiance woke her in the middle of the night to tell her that he didn't love her anymore and the wedding is off. When I was told it made me feel sick to the pit of my stomach at the thought of it happening to me.

Dancing Monkeys..

2007-11-21T09:35:00.000Z

we have something similar in here...they are called Senior management..

PADDLE YOU FOOL!!

2007-11-20T13:21:00.000Z

PADDLE!!

Being an adult.

2007-11-20T13:08:00.000Z

Have you almost nearly done something very stupid and then realised how stupid you almost were? Like wandering along a cliff and almost slipping?

Today I was a hair's breadth from making a life wrecking decision and I am now sitting shocked after scaring myself at the thought of it.

I guess this is what being grown up is about. Thinking twice.

Absolutely Barking.

2007-11-20T12:54:00.000Z

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=494876&in_page_id=1773

I don't think I need to say any more.

The joy of cats..

2007-11-19T11:58:00.001Z

I went out to put rubbish in the bin on Saturday morning. And decided to move the garden one (we have 3 bins for different things), round the corner of the house as we won't be using it much in the Winter. Behind it I found a pile of what seemd to be about 4 mice bodies in various stages of decomposition.

It seems someone has been stockpiling their catches..

Movies, football and suicide.

2007-11-19T11:09:00.000Z

My week has been pretty non eventful, filled with rising for work when it dark & returning home after it is dark. So I my blogging has been a bit sparse.

Thank you for all the kind comments on my outfit for the weekend before, it went very well and I felt very glam in my outfit. Although we did leave my dress & The Boy's suit in the room, and now have the tedious job of harrassing/ reminding/ chasing the hotel to post it out to us.

On Friday night we went to the cinema to watch an American Gangster, which was good albeit slightly long. Denzel Washington played Frank Lucas, who is a real-life drug dealer who smuggled the drug into the country in American service planes returning from the Vietnam War. Russell Crowe portrays Richie Roberts, a detective who eventually brings down Lucas' drug empire but is fighting his own demons. While I don't really like Russell Crowe ( I never got the sex appeal thing) I am beginning to appreciate him as an actor. As always Denzel was brilliant and I find him believable as a good or bad guy.

The boy spend Saturday with thousands of other Scots & lots of beer watching the nation's footballing hopes being dashed. I as a hater of all things sporting, spent the afternoon starting my Christmas shopping & then I watched a mixture of films. Ranging from the bloody 300, which was spectaculary filmed & would have no doubt been quite something in the cinema, but the story lacked depth so it really was just a chop fest. The other film I watched was Wilbur Wants to Kill Himself.

It is a black comedy set in Glasgow about a guy who keeps trying to end his life. I really only watched it because the beautiful Mads Mikkelsen plays a doctor in it, but not even that could save the film.

However the numerous attempts by Wilbur did prompt me to thinking last night in bed, if I decided to kill myself what would be my choice?
A gun shot to the head seems so brutal and messy and I wouldn't actually know where to get a gun. So that is probably a No..

Hanging myself? Hmmm.. I don't think I would know how to tie the ropes and would probably end up with some nasty burns on my neck.

Drowning is meant to be a peaceful way to go, but would I be able to actually stay under the water? I reckon it would hurt like a bastard ( I have a fear of pain) when the water hits your lungs.. I suppose after that it would be quite peaceful as you slowly pass out from lack of oxygen.
Or maybe gassing would be better? But what if it caused an explosion or something and killed other people?

Or tablets? ( but then what if I didn't take enough and just ended up on dialysis for the rest of my life?)..

So I drifted off to sleep thinking I would probably cut my wrists, it would be painful doing it and I might only be able to do one if I cut the tendons but the mess would be quite bad.

A Week in outfits..

2007-11-09T08:46:00.000Z

The dress I finally settled on for tomorrow's posh do..

I shall be wearing it with silver heels and this statement bracelet (but in silver).. hair will be loosely curled and pinned back, dark smoky eyes and glossy mauve nails...

I am also waiting on these babies, arriving, which I will wear during the day with some from of drop waist dress and grey tights...

And while tempted by Miss F's glorious new bag purchase from mybestbag.co.uk I will be nipping out later to peruse River Islands leather bag selection as I am hankering after a slouchy tan bag that isn't too heavy. I am hoping they will have my dream item..

Oh and the cats got some new collars. they are all looking very boyish in these macho ones..

Although I have removed the bell from them as the constant rattling when they are wrestling & racing up and down the stairs would drive the sanest person to the edge..

Happy days.

Nothing ever rocks and nothing ever rolls & nothing's ever worth the cost….

2007-11-05T13:41:00.000Z

Well, it is Monday again. Didn't the weekend zip by fast?

My weekend was rather quiet, Mr C was working for the majority of Saturday so the mini -beasts & I pottered about the house, mostly hiding under the bed away from the fireworks ( the cats not me) and watching crap tv.

You may remember my post from a while ago about a posh do we have in November ? Well it is Saturday. Remember the blog post about the FUCK outfit & the silver heels quandary? And how pleased I was that I was super organised and had my outfit in the bag plus it wasn't a black dress, which being Christmas season soon are flooding the shops?

Yeah, well. The boy came home from work on Friday night to tell me that my best mate had bought a new dress and it was a purple shift. For me to screech, WHAT?? It seems we had miscommunicated via email & male descriptions - her thinking it was a maroon shirt dress… which she avoided like the plaque, but managed to buy a dress almost identical to the proper description. To make matter worse her parents bought it for her so I could hardly tell her to take it back.

Friday night was spend in a manic depressive mood searching online for outfit inspiration amongst the millions of black dresses. Saturday was an early rise, thanks to the boy leaving early & letting the Escape Artist upstairs, who decided to serenade me from the stairs with what sounded vey like Amy Winehouse.

My early trip paid off & I bought a lovely long dress from Warehouse. My inspiration is Vespa Lynd in Casino Royale. I shall be sporting dramatic make up and working the glamour. I also bought some new foundation form MAC which I had forgotten how much I love it, and some ginger goodies from Origins.

Yesterday we went out for pizza and watched 30 Days of Night, which was utter gash. It just wasn't anything new.. A team of people trying to survive a team of maurading vampires. slowly picked off one by one - until our hero has a showdown at the end. The only saving grace is that pretty boy Josh Hartnett is in it.

Oh and I have Meatloaf's bat out of hell in my head.

Friday challenge..

2007-11-02T13:58:00.000Z

Ok one for the observant bloggers out there.. This table was for sale on eBay. How can you tell it is being sold by a man? Can you solve this little riddle? First look and guess. I will post the answer later ......

Vampires, outfit doubts and everything else in between

2007-11-02T09:56:00.000Z

Well, the boy & I spent Halloween listening to Meatloaf songs & mingled in with 400 vampire wannabes. The show was actually very good and I would recommend it to any Old School Rock fan out there. It s a loose story headed up by Steve Steinman, who if anyone can remember won stars in their Eyes a few years ago, as Meatloaf.

The only disconcerting thing was the amount of freask dressed up as vampires etc. I am yet to decide if it was for Halloween or a gathereing of people who like to do that kind of thing ( like Rocky Horror fans!) what is throwing doubt in my mind is that there was a guy (in the audience) who had a full on set of fangs. Not those joke things, I mean full on teeth-modified-by-dentist that had striking resemblence to the set of teeth sported by my cats. This got be thinking, What do these people do in the daytime?

Imagine if I rocked up to work one day with a full set a fangs? Would anyone say? Or would they just slowly distance themselves from the odd girl with big teeth?

Speaking off odd, today I am wearing highwaisted (think almost corset) trousers and a pale gold jumper tucked in, with patent brogue shoe boots. Not too extreme in my fashion ideals, but I received some gaping stares as I wandered to get my Starbucks skinny latte this morning. I can only assume that it is the trousers and not that my pants are on show.

I have a very busy day ahead (has no one heard on lunch breaks in this hell hole?) so I will gauge reactions in the 6 meetings I have between now & 5pm tonight.

Office Dares.

2007-10-31T11:49:00.000Z

Bored? Me too. Some fun, that appeals to my humour.

ONE-POINT DARES
1. Ignore the first five people who say 'good morning' to you.
2. To signal the end of a conversation, clamp your hands over your ears and grimace.
3. Leave your fly open for one hour. If anyone points it out, say, "Sorry, I really prefer it this way".
4. Walk sideways to the photocopier.
5. While going in an elevator, gasp dramatically each time the doors open.
6. When in elevator with one other person, tap them on the shoulder and pretend it wasn't you.
7. Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy..."
8. Don't use any punctuation.
9. Interrupt your conversation with someone by giving a huge dejected sigh.10. Use your highlighter pen on the computer screen.

THREE-POINT DARES

1. Say to your boss, "I like your style", wink, and shoot him with double-barrelled fingers.
2. Kneel in front of the water cooler and drink directly from the nozzle.
3. Shout random numbers while someone is counting.
4. Every time you get an email, shout ''email''.
5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over his or her caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
6. Keep hole punching your finger. Each time you do, shout, "dagnamit, it's happened again!". Then do it again.
7. Introduce yourself to a new colleague as "the office bicycle". Then wink and pout.
8. Call I.T. helpdesk and tell them that you can't seem to access any pornography web sites.

FIVE-POINT DARES

1. At the end of a meeting, suggest that, for once, it would be nice to conclude with the singing of the national anthem (extra points if you actually launch into it yourself).
2. Walk into a very busy person's office and while they watch you with growing irritation, turn the light switch on/off 10 times.
3. For an hour, refer to everyone you speak to as "Dave".
4. Announce to everyone in a meeting that you "really have to go do a number two".
5. When you've picked up a call, before speaking finish off some fake conversation with the words, ''she can abort it for all I care''.
6. After every sentence, say 'Mon' in a really bad Jamaican accent. As in: "The report's on your desk, Mon." Keep this up for one hour.
7. In a meeting or crowded situation, slap your forehead repeatedly and mutter, "Shut up, damn it, all of you just shut up!"
8. At lunchtime, get down on your knees and announce, "As God is my witness, I'll never go hungry again!"
9. Repeat the following conversation 10 times to the same person: "Do you hear that?" "What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
10. Present meeting attendees with a cup of coffee and biscuit; smash each biscuit with your fist.
11. During the course of a meeting, slowly edge your chair towards the door.
12. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.
13. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.
14. Sign or p.p. all letters with your initials and a swastika.
15. Dry hump the photocopier. When someone spots you, stop and cough embarrassingly, then lean in to the machine and whisper loudly, "I'll see you tonight".

Happy Halloween.

2007-10-31T11:26:00.000Z

I have been a bit lax in the old blogging for the past week, time off and cannotbearsed-itis has meant I haven't been online much. But I am now back at work after a few days pottering, watching films and catching up with friends. The last couple of days back at work have been a blur of wading through 200+ emails and trying to remember what had been discussed / done before I went off for the week.

The evenings have been spent watching the live shows of Most Haunted which I love. This Halloween special is in 5 different locations mapping out a pentagram. The freaky part is that they seem to keep contacting witchy types who are spelling out devil stuff like 666, which really creeps me out. It cumulates in tonight's show, which I will miss as I am out at a show called Vampire's Rock.

Which I am a bit dubious about. It seemed a good idea when booking but after watching some videos on youtube, I am beginning to think it might be a bit cringe worthy. But to get myself in the rock mood I listened to some Metallica (Sandman, fact fans) in the car journey this morning which took a whopping 70 minutes due to a 8 car pile up on the main Motorway between Edinburgh & Glasgow. So I am now getting emails from family asking if I am ok as I travel that road & have a history of car crashes..

Other than that not much else. I am deliberating christmas presents, primarily shall I get the boy a PS3 for his? And Miss F's new tattoo is making me want to get another one done. I also desperately want a weekend away, so I am dreaming of a December trip to Amsterdam which watching the leaves all of the trees outside my window.

Monday worries.

2007-10-22T09:35:00.000+01:00

The Escape Artist is in the vets this morning getting his knackers snipped. I am fretting he will be ok.

Things to tell you about my week..

2007-10-19T10:02:00.000+01:00

A very lazy list type post today.. But my week in a channel 5 news style summary..

Sunday ; I went to a wedding show & ended up trying on wedding dresses! It was all good fun & my mum got all emotional about it. I actually think I have found my dress but I am holding off for a wee bit longer & not rushing into it yet.(the big day is over a year away yet).

Tuesday: saw me transform from a warm burnette to a fiery red head. Not full on red, but more autumnal chesnut. (think Helena christisian) It makes my eyes look very green and I am quite pleased with it.

Wednesday; my new car was delivered & I LOVE IT. I never thought it would be possible to adore a machine so much, but is wonderful. It arrived on my doorstep with a mere 2 miles on the clock all shiny and new and smelling of new leather inside.

Thursday ; I met my Mum for our usual Thursday night catch up and we had a wander round matalan. Where I was pleasantly surprised by their shoe section. Unfortunately all the shoes I loved were sold out in my size.

Today , I thought it was dress down day in the office and have rocked up wearing short shorts, black opaque tights, patent flats, a boyfriend jumper and a pashimna at my neck. Seems everyone else forgot, and they are all in office attire.

So I am feeling a bit self concious but as it is my last day in the office for a week coupled with period pains from hell, I am trying not to do any work and intend to wheel away the hours online mainly via this website where I have found someone who loves Mads Mikkelsen more than I do.

The weekend is seeing me eating with family, going to see Cats with the boy and maybe a bit of gardening if the weather holds up.

Welcome Back Kylie..

2007-10-17T19:46:00.001+01:00

I've missed you.

Some Thursday Humour..

2007-10-11T11:53:00.000+01:00

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this past year...

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one about rat pooh in theglue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel with everyenvelope that needs sealing.

Also, I now have to scrub the top of every tin I open for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a sick girl (PennyBrown) who is about to die in the hospital for the 1,387,258th time.
Actually I no longer have any money at all, but that will change once I receive the£15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participatingin their special e-mail program.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have 363,214 angels looking outfor me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer eat at KFC because their chickens are actually horrible mutantfreaks with no eyes or feathers.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though I smell like a waterbuffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you, I have learned that my prayers only get answered if Iforward an e-mail to at least seven of my friends and make a wish within five minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca Cola because it can removetoilet stains.

I no longer can buy petrol without taking a man along to watch the car soa serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will drug me with asample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to Jamaica, Uganda,Singapore, Outer Mongolia and Uzbekistan.

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when itbites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice, I can't even pick up the £5.00 I found dropped in the car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting underneath my car to grab my leg.

Now If you don't send this chain to at least 144,000 people in the next 70 minutes, a large dove with diarrhoea will land on your head at 5:00pm this afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing youto grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbour's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beautician.

Have a wonderful day!

Eye of god.

2007-10-11T11:47:00.000+01:00

Ok, I received this in email today. And I am not sure if it is photo shopped or what, but it is a picture NASA took with the Hubbell telescope..

Supposedly this kind of event occurs once in 3000 years. It is called the ‘Eye of God’. And of course is meant to be lucky.. (I will miss out the death threat part if you don’t send it on)

Anyway I figured it is a pretty picture worth sharing

The challenge of friends.

2007-10-09T15:46:00.000+01:00

Remember how I posted about my bridesmaid, having an affair with a to-be married man? Well I met her for lunch today, seems her and her g1mp bf are planning a dastardly plan.

He gets married in 2 weeks. Rather than call off the wedding, he is going through with the wedding and asking for a divorce when he gets back from his honeymoon. (some bullsh1t about not wanting to let his Mum down).

He is also hoping to hear news from a job today so he can leave ( him, my mate & his to be wife all work here) so he is completely removed from it, when the sh1t hits the fan. My mate is hoping to get a job at the same place he is hoping to go too. But has nothing concrete yet.

I asked her did she really want to break up a marriage & she met me with a smirk and said she wasn't thinking about it like that, she just wanted him. I just met the reply with silence and was put off my soup.

You see, the part I just DO NOT get why he would go through with it in the first place, it makes utterly no sense. Can anyone tell me why you would want a divorce on your hands, why would you want to do that to someone else. Other than if you were a spiteful bastard or utterly spineless do not know who to talk to about it as I do not want them judging my otherwise good friend, but I find the whole thing depressing and horrible.

Celebrity endorsements.

2007-10-09T15:36:00.000+01:00

Is Pat from Eastender’s your style icon? Or how about Kurt Russell.. well you are truly in luck. BOTH endorse this…

http://www.missgroovy.co.uk/product_info.php?products_id=1071

I bet all your make up dreams have been answered now.

Stupidity.

2007-10-09T11:12:00.001+01:00

A girl who I work with, is getting married next year & she was away trying on wedding dresses at the weekend. The shop she went to ad a special day where some dress designer was visiting the shop for one day with his new season dresses. Peaheid decided to go along without her glasses - so she could get the proper effect of how it would look on the day.

Result - she is practically blind without them & couldn't see what she looked like in any of the dresses. Now she isn't sure whether to order a dress that her mum liked her in without being able to see / try it on again and she has 2 weeks to order them I time for her big day.

And now we are now all been regaled with this detailed tale over & over, while all secretly thinking to ourselves ‘what a f**king idiot’.

Catslife recommends..

2007-10-09T10:58:00.000+01:00

Looking to take pain to a whole new level? Never mind tattoos, try waxing your own bikini line. Good god. I actually questioned my own sanity last night over why I do these things.

I had very weird dreams last night, first off all I dreamt I was driving my brother's car & I took it to a petrol station where I bumped into a couple of boys I went to school with. Where I agreed to lend one of them the car. Which he took off in & was away for ages When he finally appeared back, it was because he had run out of petrol, which I didn't believe as I had just put fuel in it.

Then my dream switched to where I was a polar bear in the Antarctic. All the snow was melting and it ended up I was on a wee bit of ice that was gradually getting smaller & smaller, which kept capsizing with my weight and I was scrambling to get back on but my fur was so heavy & wet. Finally I was just swimming in this slushy icy stuff.. I woke up when I was thinking, Well I am just going to have to let go now, there is nothing else I can do apart from drown.

It makes me sad every time I think about it.

This weekend I learned ..

2007-10-08T17:23:00.000+01:00

* Cats are like elephants, they never forget. Thankfully they don't have the body size to do damage, but they do their damnest..
* Primark do fantastic ribbed tights.
* 6 children between the age of 3 and 6 can make an unbelievable amount of noise when put in a room together.
* If your instincts tell you a man is upto no good, he usually is and you are usually right.

And if you are having trouble fighting off those nasty men, I have found just the thing. For a mere £12 these passion killers are yours..

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/femail/article.html?in_article_id=486292&in_page_id=1879

'Drop Dead Gorgeous

2007-10-07T21:07:00.001+01:00

I watched Casino Royale again on saturday. And while many of you love Mr Craig, this beautiful man coupled with his dutch accent, makes the film for me.

I have dark hair.

2007-10-06T19:02:00.001+01:00

And I like it.

That's all.

Presenters, drag queens and the silver shoe hunt.

2007-10-05T15:12:00.000+01:00

The shoe quandry maybe coming to an end.. I have decide on a middle ground and ordered these babies.. part platform for legginess, part sandal for formal attire. A winner for all.

Well, hopefully. They haven't arrived yet, and they might be more Rue Paul than Cat Deely, knowing my luck.

The Ultimate Driving .. whatever.

2007-10-05T15:04:00.000+01:00

Well the black clouds have finally lifted, all thanks to the nice people at BMW who have called to tell me my new car will be getting delivered on the 17th October. A whole 3 weeks early.

The Escape Artist is also simultaneously entertaining and grossing me out by catching & eating flies.

Plus I have finally got round to buying hair dye to change my hair to dark. Fingers crossed, in a hours time I will have a dark brown mane..

Happy days.

It's Catslife, bitch.

2007-10-05T10:36:00.000+01:00

I have nothing to post today, other than to tell you I am in a foul mood. I haven't a clue why or what kicked it off, but everything is darkening it.

Even my mate, who's kind attempts to lighten it, are just annoying me.

I apologise to all.

Hello My Pretties..

2007-10-04T10:25:00.000+01:00

I have the joys of my 3 year old cousin's birthday party on Sunday ( which I have been given the 3 line whip to attend) which I am dreading.

I am not a kiddie hater, but I do struggle with children.

It annoys me that there is no adult conversation around children, that any attempts are interrupted by little Johnny wanting us all to play with his fire engine together or watch his interpretation of river dance..

Or of course it descends into conversation about the child. I get nervous and uncomfortable especially when asked if I want to hold them. But this is the burden I must carry being of a certain age where all my friends are choosing to have children.

However the thing I am not looking forward to is the people have no qualms about asking 'so you must thinking about having yours soon'.. And of course when I answer 'Err no, I will be sticking with my cats'. I am given either the lecture of how rewarding children are or given the look like I have said I am the flipping Child catcher reincarnate.

The fact is, and I can honestly admit, I am far to narcissistic and selfish to have them. I like my own time, doing what I want, when I want & a night out doesn't have to be a 3 week planning exercise.

Coupled with the fear of wrecking my figure forever more.. Stomach isn't ever quite as flat again, chest drained of all life, cellulite on the thighs...Feck some women even lose teeth and their hair. Not to mention the car crash that happens down there during the birth.

I am feeling faint at the very thought.

A bit of Mr Manson..

2007-10-03T20:45:00.001+01:00

does the soul good.

Shoes, chilli and other things inbetween.

2007-10-01T10:11:00.000+01:00

My weekend was quite good in a busy and over far too quickly way.. Friday night was a Chinese from our local restaurant, which does great food but the owner is appropriately named 'crazy lady' by Mr C & I.. She is a very nice woman but slightly scatty and never writes down your order. Coupled with a short memory this means she has 4 attempts back to the table to confirm what we are drinking/ eating.. However as we are regulars and usually order the same things, I think it is getting easier for her to remember, so the return trips are down to 2..

We then went to see the new George Clooney film, the name escapes me, which says it all really. I didn't love or hate it, so that is as far as it goes. George wasn't looking particularly good in but he does wear a suit well.

Saturday was a pottering day, a tiny bit of shopping ( How great are New Look's shoes at the moment?? - I will dedicate a post them later ), a meal and a shitload of alcohol with my brother & his girlfriend in the evening , which was good fun. Needless to say I ended up utterly trashed on mohijtos and thinking it would be a good idea to make the evening reception of my wedding a 1950;'s casino theme.

My brother who was the only one not drinking managed at one point a fantastic Jackie Chan style move as he was telling a story and accidentally punched 2 glasses out the waitress's hands as she just about to put them down on the table. The glasses knocked together and smashed in her hands, showering me with a nice cocktail mix of Berry Mule & mohjhitos.

Sunday was spent fighting off a hangover and making a huge pot of chilli. I also saw Season 6 of 24 advertised last night and made a vow to myself to get back on the Bauer Addiction train.. It will cure my cross dressing / fat chef fancying nonsense. So full Keifer appreciation will be resumed as soon as possible.

Thursday shiteness

2007-09-27T13:26:00.000+01:00

I have routine for Thursday's. Mr C usually plays football, so it means it is MY night of doing what I want. It usually has a vein of finishing work sharp, meeting my mum for a bite to eat & a catch up or shooting home and making myself something childish for dinner (spagetti hoops on toast is a favourite).

I then usually watch what I want on TV ( eastenders/ makeover stuff/ ghosty things..) without the male cry of 'why do you watch thiiiis?!' while particpating in some beauty routine - nails/ leg waxing/ facial ..

Imagine my sheer delight when a friend told me that The Izzard had a new series beginnning tonight.. On a Thursday, MY night, uninterrupted.

Now, imagine my disapointment (and utter hatred of the Virgin / Sky fight) when I find out he does indeed have a new programme on tonight but on Virgin's main channel.

I subscribe to Sky.

I do not get Virgin 1 on my Sky television.
Arsebiscuits.

OH NO!!

2007-09-25T20:24:00.000+01:00

Not Keifer..

http://www.splashnewsonline.com/2007/09/25/kiefer-sutherland-arrested-for-dui/

Today's query..

2007-09-25T09:51:00.000+01:00

Shall I dye my hair dark again? I am not liking my highlighted look at present.. Everywhere I look there are highlighted blonde heads..

Plus it is expensive to maintain & needs done every 6 weeks as I HATE roots showing… so maybe a nice warm glossy chocolate for winter?

But then when I get it done will I find it too dull & want it back blonde again? Hmmm.. What to do..

(yes it is tough being me..)