I was lesuirly getting ready for work the other day and spotted an ant on my bedroom floor - and jesus christ it was massiveeeee. Behold my genius killing skills that also made me an hour late for work (had to calm down afterwards):
Step 1: Stand far back Step 2: Pour remaining 3/4 of nail varnish over said ant Step 3: Miss, and ruin the cushion that was on your floor Step 4: Pour mouthwash (couldnt find anything else!) over it, thus slowing it down Step 5: Take the £15 Virgin Vie foot foam spray that doesnt even work properly and spray to hearts content Step 6: Realise it actually does work, and now you cant see the ant, or the floor, as there is foam all over. Step 7: Rejoyce, relax and watch Jeremy Kyle to get over the infestation.
See that is why I have cats - they can do Jack Bauer protection moves on any creepies that come my way. And it is a known formula , the more cats, the less spiders. Fact.
As for Jeremy Kyle, I am embarrassed to admit that I havea bit of a love /hate realtionship with him. He is patronising and smug.. but would I.. maybe just the once if Kiefer wasn't about...
6 comments:
Eek!
When I spotted it I gave out a classic Hammer Horror scream..
Oh my god THAT IS DISGUSTING!!!!
I was lesuirly getting ready for work the other day and spotted an ant on my bedroom floor - and jesus christ it was massiveeeee. Behold my genius killing skills that also made me an hour late for work (had to calm down afterwards):
Step 1: Stand far back
Step 2: Pour remaining 3/4 of nail varnish over said ant
Step 3: Miss, and ruin the cushion that was on your floor
Step 4: Pour mouthwash (couldnt find anything else!) over it, thus slowing it down
Step 5: Take the £15 Virgin Vie foot foam spray that doesnt even work properly and spray to hearts content
Step 6: Realise it actually does work, and now you cant see the ant, or the floor, as there is foam all over.
Step 7: Rejoyce, relax and watch Jeremy Kyle to get over the infestation.
Right, I will stop writing essays now...
ETA: Meant to say Nail Varnish REMOVER!
Golden Touch: can't believe you did all that on a tiny defenseless ant, hahaha!
Hello Golden Touch!
See that is why I have cats - they can do Jack Bauer protection moves on any creepies that come my way. And it is a known formula , the more cats, the less spiders. Fact.
As for Jeremy Kyle, I am embarrassed to admit that I havea bit of a love /hate realtionship with him. He is patronising and smug.. but would I.. maybe just the once if Kiefer wasn't about...
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