Hello My Pretties..

I have the joys of my 3 year old cousin's birthday party on Sunday ( which I have been given the 3 line whip to attend) which I am dreading.

I am not a kiddie hater, but I do struggle with children.

It annoys me that there is no adult conversation around children, that any attempts are interrupted by little Johnny wanting us all to play with his fire engine together or watch his interpretation of river dance..

Or of course it descends into conversation about the child. I get nervous and uncomfortable especially when asked if I want to hold them. But this is the burden I must carry being of a certain age where all my friends are choosing to have children.

However the thing I am not looking forward to is the people have no qualms about asking 'so you must thinking about having yours soon'.. And of course when I answer 'Err no, I will be sticking with my cats'. I am given either the lecture of how rewarding children are or given the look like I have said I am the flipping Child catcher reincarnate.

The fact is, and I can honestly admit, I am far to narcissistic and selfish to have them. I like my own time, doing what I want, when I want & a night out doesn't have to be a 3 week planning exercise.

Coupled with the fear of wrecking my figure forever more.. Stomach isn't ever quite as flat again, chest drained of all life, cellulite on the thighs...Feck some women even lose teeth and their hair. Not to mention the car crash that happens down there during the birth.

I am feeling faint at the very thought.